hi welcome to my blog

lexy. 19. new york. sarcastic asshole. love music. i put fucked up things on my blog & i don't care what you think. \m/


my mom went to high school with jamie lee curtis and one time they both got caught smoking pot together and jamie told the teacher it was my mom’s and my mom was suspended and jamie lee got no punishment so think about that next time you want some activia

the laxative yogurt lady fucked over my mom

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when your friends sibling is hot


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can we just take a moment and think about the time my dad accidentally made a fried egg that looked exactly like africa


i’m the most impressed by the fact the egg also has madagascar



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155,856 notes / REBLOGpreppycollegeguy:


Colourised black and white photo of an American soldier at an allied base in 1942 
This is amazing

How can you not reblog?


Squidward kept this shit real

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226,090 notes / REBLOGfoodchewer:

the motto


Angelica summing up what having responsibilities really means.

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190,253 notes / REBLOGseekingwillow:




When I worked at a fast food restaurant, I did a social experiment.
One day, I asked “do you want a girl toy or a boy toy?” No one went against gender roles.
The next day, it was “do you want a doll toy or a car toy?” Boys got dolls. Girls got cars.
Vocabulary is important.

Just going to add the reminder that this policy was put in place because Bronies were upset at ‘having to request the girl toy of MLP’.
The ‘gender equality’ happened because Bronies didn’t want girl cooties.
That SAYS something.
306,405 notes / REBLOGshadows-of-a-fallen-angel:




also, duct tape on your arms, a few layers, but not too tight. basically it’ll stop a zombie taking a chunk out of your arm if you’re reloading or your blade gets jammed in a zombie
wearing a wetsuit underneath your clothing would also be useful. remember; they were human once, humans have blunt teeth! you try biting through duct tape AND a wet suit
never duct tape joints, your movements will be limited, and you want to be fast and danger (gotta go fast)
don’t hole up in small houses either that’s a recipe for disaster, you want somewhere with a secure upstairs, and a way down from the upstairs that is zombie free or can easily be cleared of zombies (avoid fire exits with steps leading up to them though, unless they have gates at the bottom)
sound = attraction, so if you do have guns, use them only in emergencies or for the sake of popping one head you’ll be greeted with many many more
raid your local medical shops, and get there first, nobody is going to stop and share it out equally while they’re panicking. don’t hit out at somebody unless they hit out at you, though, you already have unintelligent corpses pitted against you, you don’t want sentient humans on your case as well (zombies don’t do the revenge thing, humans do!)
try not to piss people off, because as stated before, yes, humans like revenge
don’t try and be clever and use yourself as live bait; yes playing the hero is glorious in movies, but it doesn’t work so glamorously in real life
large numbers isn’t a good idea. you want small groups, even if you just branch out from being in a larger group, because if there’s a lot of you you are a bigger target, but don’t then go off and decide to be in groups that are too small in case you get surrounded (in which case, the duct tape and wet suits will come in handy)
food shouldn’t be that hard to come by, most people would have attempted to flee the area straight from their houses and packed what they had, raiding local shops could still be worth it. but remember, know your way in, your way out, and double check there’s nothing in the shop ready to sneak up behind you while you’re reaching up for that tin of beans
half balaclava masks or something similar to cover your lower face while fighting zombies could also be useful, you don;t want to accidentally ingest flying zombie fluids and end up one of them, that’d be a nasty surprise for your group to wake up to (since going solo possibly isn’t a good idea)
and always, ALWAYS, have a way to start a fire on you
zombies burn


I love my followers so you need to protect yourselves.

In case of Croatoan



these people cant be real


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